The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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