Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize