Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize