this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
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I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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