do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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