Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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