shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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