Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i need an iv and a liver transplant
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How's work?
Spinning.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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