That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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