I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize