kristin has been a bad kristin
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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