I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize