this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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