Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
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I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize