We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There are leaves in my underwear?
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