Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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