There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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