he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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