You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize