about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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