Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't make out with my wife yet
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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