do herpes really smell.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
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Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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