he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Drake has all the answers
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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