is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize