Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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