Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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