it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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