Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
not ubering you a puppy
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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