There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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