then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need mimosas to revive my soul
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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