We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize