Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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