absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize