I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize