by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize