We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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