i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize