If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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