This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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