I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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