Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize