Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize