Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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