First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize