The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
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Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
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Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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