Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize