She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
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My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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