you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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