This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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