I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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